contradictions

Its odd how the empowering process of creating a theory of the execution of will, impedes me to execute it. Or rather, in this modern consumerist day with promiscuous morals (nothing wrong about it), my will is hard to find. I drown in this sea of desires. Like the wish junkie that Bastian plays in the never ending story. It is so easy to mistake what really matters. So easy to be lost in commodities and lusts that we can't find loves or supports. The other day I talked to a friend, he just finished his undergrad on music. The best job he could find was as nightguard for this store. Which complicates everything. For we will take crap for jobs, and do crap all for "survival". We are forced to interact with worthless people, to treat them nicely, to bite a million sarcastic comments a day, all for payday. And it all hurts more, the more "honour" you have. The more ideals you keep, the higher the image of self you strive for, the more this prostitution of the human strength hurts. Humans are not seen as humans, but rather objectivized and only appreciated for their strength of labour. We are workers, consumers, investors, and that is about it. The only role of participation in society, the only reason for our existence then becomes, to produce, to consume, or to accumulate wealth. What kind of society can we build upon those reasons? How the hell can we have children and send them to be producers, consumers, or hoarders of capital? And people feel so free because they have the right to impoverish themselves in all kinds of crap. Not that socialism is any better. Hell I hate working for anything, least of all a state. But it is healthy to question our society and its system. The world is not only capitalism and socialism. There are options, and they must be considered. I will not be a tool for some money hoarder out there.